Different Ways To Bite Lucy
by lady lutka
Summary: Natsu composes a list of all his different ways to bite Lucy under the request of Cana.— /bro!fic/


**So this is dedicated to all my TP fans. I'm so sorry for not updating for like a month! I haven't really had the time to sit down and type out the chapter, but I've at least planned it! So it should be up soonishy :)**

 **Remember to review :3**

 **To clear some things up:**

Natsu  
 _Gray  
_ **Gajeel**

 **Enjoy!  
**

* * *

NATSU THE AWESOME FIRE DRAGON INTRODUCES

DIFFERENT WAYS TO BITE LUCY

(requested by Cana and I sorta owe her one. And she's paying me to write this shit down. Plllleeeaaassseee don't tell Lucy I sorta like my balls where they are)

Bite #1: The 'Come back 'cause I ain't done with you yet' bite  
Okay, so this one sounds weird but it ain't really. Well it sorta is. Basically, this bite is used whenever Lucy gets up to go somewhere while we're in the middle of doin' touchy stuff. Sometimes I use it whenever she walks away from me all mad 'n shit. It makes her laugh. I mostly use it when we wake up. She hates hates HATES kissing first thing in the morning but I fuckin' love that shit 'cause how the fuck else am I meant to wake up? Anyway, whenever she stands up I sorta just nip her a lil' bit on any available skin. She gets what I mean.

 _That is fucking sick, Flamebrain. The fuck is wrong with you?_

OI! Stop writing all over the page!

 **Gihi, Salamander turned into a softy. 'It makes her laugh'… BAHAHAHA!**

Both of you fuck off!

 _Just fucking hurry up already. You're hogging the table with your fat ass_

Bitch I'll burn you

Bite #2: The 'Stop being stupid' bite not-really-a-bite  
So Lucy is a weirdo and she does weirdo things. Likeee 'don't touch me, I'm mad at you!' annnd 'get out of my bed, Natsu!' annnd 'stop coming in through the window' annnd 'NATSU I'M IN THE BATH DON'T JUST WALK IN WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?'. So to shut her up I just sorta snap my teeth at her and continue on with whatever the fuck I was doing. Simple!

 **You snap your teeth at your girlfriend…?**

Shut up pincushion! You do the same shit!

 _I'm starting to think you're both animals. Seriously._

And you're just a loner exhibitionist so gtfo

 **Humans wouldn't understand anyway**

 _One of these days I'm gonna call animal control to lock both yo asses up_

OKAY BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP I GET CHARGED THE LONGER I TAKE

Bite #3: The 'I want more' bite  
I hate you Cana. Lucy, if you're reading this, I love you babe but please don't fuck up my balls. I actually want kids with you and that can't happen if you Lucy-Kick me. Ahhhhhhhh so anyway. This bite is pretty self-explanatory. I only ever do this bite when we're alone and things are getting hot. So instead of like asking her to get on with it I just bite the skin in that hollow bit of her collarbone. Nuff said.

 _I think my eyes are burning_

SHUTUP ICE PRINCESS LIKE YOU CAN TALK

 **You and bunny girl talk about kids?**

Well yeah. I mean we've been together for like agessssss so of course we talk about having kids

 **Seriously?**

Stop looking at me like that. Why is it so strange?

 **No reason**

Okaaaaayyyy…?

 _Pshhh I think metal face over here feels threatened_

Wait you and Levy don't talk about kids?!

 **That's none of your fucking business**

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I WON THIS ONE ASSHOLE!

 **Stfu**

Never

Bite #4: The 'I wanna make you laugh' bite  
So Lucy gets real sad on some days like her parents' birthdays and dates of death and I hate it. Sad Lucy sucks because she's waaaayy too pretty to be sad. So whenever she gets quiet I nibble her neck and stomach because she's real ticklish there. It gets her laughing and then more often than not, things get steamy. As long as she's happy, I'm happy.

 _Wow. So you're not as dense as you look_

WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

 _Exactly what you think it does_

WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE ANYWAY?!

 **Alright you two princesses, break it up. Lucy is walking over here**

WHAT?! HIDE THE PAPER! HIDE THE FUCKING PAPER! OH SHI

 _Tch, dumbass_

 **I'm gonna draw allll over this shit**

 _Dude don't fuck up my drawings_

 **Relaaaxxx I'm gonna improve them**

 _They're already fucking fantastic. Paws off_

 **Nahh**

She's gone thank god WAIT WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!

 _Decorating_

 **What he said**

Ughhh why am I even friends with you bastards?

 **Did ya hear that popsicle? Salamander thinks we're friends**

 _Yeah I'm still tryna wrap my head around that bomb_

Just please shut up.

THE LAST BITE! Bite #5: The 'You're mine' bite  
So Lucy is fucking hot and smart but she's super dumb when it comes to other men. What she thinks is 'being friendly' translates to 'she wants my dick' to others. So that's why I do the shoulder wrap thing and glare at the other dude until he shits himself. Anyway, when she asks me about it later I just sorta bite that part of her neck where you can feel her pulse. She gets what I mean reeeaaalll quick.

 _The fuck?_

 **It's not that weird, fucking hell. That shit's a common behavioural trait for dragons. When your woman steps outta line or when you get jealous, you remind her just who she belongs to. I don't really use it that much**

Yeah well neither do I cuz Luce never steps outta line. I just get like super jealous

 _You both have issues_

At least we get laid

 **Ooooh low blow**

 _There's something called 'picking up chicks'. But who am I kidding? You probably have no idea what that even means tch_

So not only are you a stripper but now you're a whore?

 _Now you've fucking done it!_

 **OI FUCKING STOP SLAPPING EACH OTHER! YOU'RE SPILLING MY DRINK DAMMIT. WHAT ARE YOU, FIVE?**

 **Here comes your girlfriend, Salamander. Stop being gay**

 _He's finally fucking gone thank god. Lucy, if you're reading this I just want you to know that Natsu has been crossdressing in all your clothes for years now. I'm sorry you had to find out this way_

 **And he sprays all your underwear with your perfume and jacks off with 'em**

 _One time I walked in on him prancing around in that maid costume of yours_

 **Really?**

 _He does some fucking weird shit_

 **Like you?**

 _I fucking dare you to repeat that_

 **I don't really think I need to. You know exactly what I mean**

 _BITCH I'LL FUCKING FREEZE YOUR DICK UP YOUR ASS HOLE_

 **Kinky**

 _C'MERE YOU LI_

FUCK OFF BASTARDS GIMME THAT DAMN PAPER

Oh and by the way Luce I love you babe! XXX

 ** _._**

 ** _._**

 ** _._**

 ** _fin_**


End file.
